i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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