dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
