Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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