Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL

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  (949): just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL http://tfl.nu/7k6t
  Replies (21) Good night (671) Bad night (860)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.

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  (850): i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate. http://tfl.nu/wnho
  Replies (90) Good night (644) Bad night (3539)
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  (925): View more from California

  You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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  (925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5
  Replies (7) Good night (549) Bad night (2066)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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  (304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w
  Replies (21) Good night (4658) Bad night (684)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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  (954): i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night http://tfl.nu/gokf
  Replies (33) Good night (3788) Bad night (1087)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.

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  (256): Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay. http://tfl.nu/5ucl
  Replies (27) Good night (1377) Bad night (4826)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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  (+44): I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk. http://tfl.nu/9idz
  Replies (22) Good night (2966) Bad night (1040)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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  (407): Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants? http://tfl.nu/pjw5
  Replies (18) Good night (3545) Bad night (1036)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...

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  (414): i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall... http://tfl.nu/m552
  Replies (3) Good night (3233) Bad night (833)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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  (301): no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue. http://tfl.nu/bg75
  Replies (4) Good night (1790) Bad night (777)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1460) Bad night (705)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

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  (612): Pencil dick carries the name proudly. http://tfl.nu/iir6
  Replies (5) Good night (179) Bad night (494)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him

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  (703): He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him http://tfl.nu/a7jc
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (175)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"

  (571): View more from Virginia

  why not an indie porn pic then

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  (202): And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr" (571): why not an indie porn pic then http://tfl.nu/a81c
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (155)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

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  (705): It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet. (705): Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go! http://tfl.nu/wqgq
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (141)

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