Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake http://tfl.nu/i8af
  Replies (27) Good night (1498) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms http://tfl.nu/2y09
  Replies (22) Good night (4695) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm http://tfl.nu/twuk
  Replies (21) Good night (3711) Bad night (4514)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3055) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/qol4
  Replies (5) Good night (3467) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n http://tfl.nu/8ho6
  Replies (6) Good night (1389) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar. http://tfl.nu/qpqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1585) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car http://tfl.nu/ipv6
  Replies (3) Good night (2051) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area. http://tfl.nu/biqi
  Replies (4) Good night (2740) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night?? http://tfl.nu/hu0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet. http://tfl.nu/jos6
  Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive." http://tfl.nu/krpq
  Replies (10) Good night (2120) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight. http://tfl.nu/iyrl
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored. http://tfl.nu/7kgx
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime http://tfl.nu/7bjc
  Replies (11) Good night (427) Bad night (813)

Randomize