the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
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Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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