Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.

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  (905): the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest. http://tfl.nu/4jgv
  Replies (30) Good night (1279) Bad night (4164)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
  Replies (20) Good night (1411) Bad night (4511)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.

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  (937): you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with. http://tfl.nu/ct1p
  Replies (40) Good night (5966) Bad night (952)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn

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  (970): It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn http://tfl.nu/hfv3
  Replies (17) Good night (1217) Bad night (3421)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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  (954): I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure. http://tfl.nu/up4h
  Replies (11) Good night (2570) Bad night (1065)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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  (719): Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ctww
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (1767)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

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  (406): she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over. http://tfl.nu/abn4
  Replies (8) Good night (3314) Bad night (850)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.

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  (270): Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil. http://tfl.nu/p6d2
  Replies (14) Good night (2280) Bad night (672)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2943) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.

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  (731): He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver. http://tfl.nu/fyob
  Replies (8) Good night (2134) Bad night (562)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?

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  (860): How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"? http://tfl.nu/cbsf
  Replies (9) Good night (1042) Bad night (552)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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  (816): There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/cxgm
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."

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  (909): While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run." http://tfl.nu/99ml
  Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle

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  (616): so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy (313): Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle http://tfl.nu/8mxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (354)
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  (315): View more from New York

  She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.

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  (315): She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight. http://tfl.nu/lw42
  Replies (7) Good night (302) Bad night (725)

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