I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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