i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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