i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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