So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
