hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
