He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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