never play flip cup with pint glasses
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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