i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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