ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
