But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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