my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
