Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
