we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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