After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize