never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
