so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
