singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
