Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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