$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
