Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
