I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
barbara walters just said penis...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Randomize
