He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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