So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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