You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Girls should come with a carfax report
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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