Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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