i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
