two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
