thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
