READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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