Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
