The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize