your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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