i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
