I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
