erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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