I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
