we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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