escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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