I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
