You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
