Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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