Sry I called you an 8
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
