they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
