I wish they made helmets for livers.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
