My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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