I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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