'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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