well you can't waste a boner
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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