He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
