Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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