margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
