Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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