so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
