Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
