Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
