Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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